The Work of a Lifetime

Early in my coaching career, we struggled as a team. I enjoyed the kids, the team comradery, and the shared experience of athletic preparation and competition. I did NOT enjoy being a novice, ill-prepared coach. I did NOT enjoy constantly losing. So, I made a shift. I decided to get better and pursue excellence as a coach. I knew that “winning” was not a controllable variable or even the ultimate goal. It would be the result of controlling the controllables, providing an environment where athletes could thrive and develop the mindset and skills that would be of life-long value.  

Over the past several years, our team has done that. We have transitioned and transformed into a solid program. We’ve had a lot of wins and successes, but I am most satisfied in this slow transition and steady transformation. I still enjoy the kids, the comradery, and the shared experience, but I am also proud of our mindset and culture of pursuing excellence. To have the courage to show up and to continue showing up. To know that if we desire different results, we need to make a shift and begin to do things differently. 

This way of thinking has been helpful as I work with kids in the classroom and on the courts. It has also been helpful for me whenever I see a need for personal transformation. Not just to experience successful outcomes, but to recognize and change destructive habits. 

Pema Chödrön, author of The Places That Scare You: a guide to fearlessness in difficult times, wrote “Interrupting our destructive habits and awakening our heart is the work of a lifetime.” This is wise teaching. Our unhealthy habits need disruption. Our hearts need awakening. It will take a lifetime to develop healthy habits and a heart alive and thriving. That begins with awareness and a shift. 

We don’t need answers. We need a direction and a next step. That is how my coaching transition began and how our program transformation began. We don’t need answers because we don’t even know the right questions to ask. But when we hang in there long enough, the direction becomes a little more clear, and the next step becomes a little more obvious. So, let’s hang in there, focus on the process, aim for progress, and reach toward excellence.  

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